Will you indulge me?

I married a man who left me as soon as he became unhappy.

At the time I blamed him without reservation. But later, after my anger subsided I had to accept that I was just as responsible for my heartache as he was.

I made a choice to attach myself to a man who I KNEW had no intention of remaining with me.

I said I do to a man that I KNEW had commitment issues - I was wife number three after all. But at the time I thought that I could change him. I foolishly thought that my love would be enough.

I was wrong.

But ironically, this loss has made me stronger. I've had to face some harsh and painful truths about myself.

I've learned that I have to STOP playing the victim.

I've learned that I have to begin accepting responsibility for my role in attaching to men who don't deserve me; who aren't worthy of me and who may not have the capacity to love me the way I NEED to be loved.

I learned that I have to accept responsibility for my behaviors that might have discouraged good men, men I cared about but who had cause to doubt my love because I was too afraid to show them my heart.

There are those of you who understand exactly what I'm saying. Women, like me, who also need to accept responsibility for overlooking that good, honest, loving man that wanted you but maybe wasn't cute enough, wasn't tall enough or didn't have the education or career that you thought exemplified success.

Women, like me, who were swayed by swagger and dimples, muscles and flash and who were also comforted by lies.

Women, like me, who have been so afraid to be hurt again that we have refused to love.

I've learned a lesson. And if you're like me, it's one you can probably benefit from.

I've learned that sometimes, the villain in the story of your life, is YOU.